The Pet Effect

I’ve always been an animal person. At age five I won an art contest for my drawing titled “Dancing Kitty” and even had my name in the newspaper. At age seven I rescued my first cat, a grey and black tabby huddled next to marble steps near Patterson Park.  My mother told me not to touch it, but I scooped him up anyway, took him home and named him Casey. We had lots of cats growing up, all rescued from the streets, all wonderful companions.  In fact, I can’t remember a time in my life when I haven’t been surrounded by animals. And that got me thinking about how much of an influence pets have had in my life and how much I’ve learned from them along the way.

As I travel back in time, every memory whether good or bad is accompanied by an animal. When I was 14 my parents allowed me to have a puppy. Her name was Shelby and she was a beautiful husky mix. We had her for about a month before I was forced to give her away to a family who lived in the county after she chewed my father’s glasses for the third time. Shelby taught me responsibility and how to do the right thing no matter how much it hurts. At age 16, after a particularly ugly argument with my father, I stormed out of our house with my clothes in a trash bag. I stayed at my brother’s house that night. I was crying, distraught and afraid. His two cats, Jonson and Henry, curled up next to me on the floor and comforted me throughout the evening. They showed me what friendship is really all about. After I had moved out officially at 18 and had my own place, I adopted two kittens from my mother. She had neglected to spay and neuter some of her rescues and had 2 litters to find homes for. Rodney and Rudy came home with me, and are still part of my family 12 years later. They’ve warmed up my legs with a brush of their fur on cold mornings, purred on my lap when my heart was broken, brought countless smiles to my face with their frantic meows at dinner time and have shown me the meaning of unconditional love.

While working at Johns Hopkins I started collecting money in an attempt to save the reptile exhibit at the Baltimore Zoo. I raised $60, chump change compared to what I raise now, but I was so proud.  This was my first attempt at fundraising and I learned quickly how difficult it is to get others to care as much as I do. When a maintenance man at Hopkins told me about a kitten he had found outside that looked poisoned, I used my lunch break to take the kitten to Eastern Animal Hospital. They informed me that he was too far gone and that it would be best to euthanize him. They didn’t charge me and thanked me for bringing him in. I thought of Shelby and how difficult it was to give her to that family and reminded myself that I had just saved this kitten from unnecessary suffering. Though I only knew him for about an hour, he taught me compassion and strength. A few months later, while watching television in my apartment, I heard a faint “meow” coming from the snow covered ground outside. I opened the door and saw a tiny calico cat taking refuge under a car. I filled a bowl with cat food, stepped outside in my PJ’s and coaxed her closer. She let me lift her up and spent the night sleeping on my pillow. The next day I took her to my parent’s house and after hours of name searching, they settled on Reese. She was the last pet that my father would have and brought him great comfort and happiness before he passed. She still enriches my mother’s life today.

Layla entered my life at a critical time. My father had just passed and my husband was in Kuwait. Loneliness was looming until I found Layla. I had no idea that a rambunctious pit mix puppy could change my life so drastically. She became my best friend. From her I have learned patience, resilience and how to live life fully each day. Then came Evey – another pit bull destined for life in a shelter. We brought her home as a friend for Layla, but got the sweetest, friendliest, most loyal companion on the planet. Evey has taught me that taking risks are worth it. A few months later and about a week into my job at a local animal shelter, six puppies arrived without their mother. They were two weeks old and needed to be bottle fed or they would be euthanized. Unable to let that happen and at the risk of becoming divorced, I took them home. My husband graciously helped me care for the puppies until they were old enough to be adopted. After six weeks, I returned five of them to the shelter to find their forever homes. We kept number six and named her Wolverine. She has cheated death twice, sleeps at the foot of our bed every night and has taught me that anything is possible. When I asked for an orange cat two years ago I thought my husband would kill me, but he gave in and we welcomed Ripken into our home. He’s broken nearly everything made of glass that he’s come into contact with and tortures the dogs on a regular basis, but he’s always sad to see us leave the house, keeps my spot on the couch warm and reminds me to always have fun.

Lots of people see pets as a nuisance and a responsibility that they’d rather do without, but I say it’s worth every second of aggravation. My pets have gotten me through some of the toughest times of my life. They’ve been there through tears, breakdowns, smiles and laughter and I’ve learned more life lessons from them than most of the people I’ve encountered. I believe that they love me just as much as I love them. And, I’d like to think that when my dogs are licking me with that twinkle in their eyes they are really saying “Thanks mom for saving my life!” In fact, I know they “know”. Because whether you’re human or animal, you feel the same energy when someone loves you and treats you humanely. And we all deserve to feel that at least once in our lives.

If you haven’t experienced the pet effect in your life yet, perhaps it’s time to do just that! Shelters are always fuller than capacity with thousands of wonderful, loving animals who are just hoping for a permanent place to call home. And if you can’t adopt a pet right now, consider volunteering once a month (or more often) at a shelter or rescue close to where you live. Your volunteer time will enrich the lives of the shelter animals as well as your own.

                                                           Evey, Layla, and Wolvie

                                                                      Rodney

                                                                       Tuesday

                                                                        Rudy

                                                                       Ripken

Happily Ever After

Today is my anniversary. My husband and I have been married for five years. I was twenty-four at the time; my husband was twenty-five. We were young in so many ways and fiercely grown-up in others. We had a plan, or at least I did. We would go active duty, travel the country, finish school, have children and settle into our dream home here in Baltimore. And as I reminisce it’s hard for me not to think about that plan and how drastically different our lives have become.

I never could have imagined on that crisp fall day all that life had in store for us. I didn’t see my love for animals turning into a career or that we would raise so much money for animals in our community. I didn’t see all the wonderful vacations we would take or the joy of purchasing our first home together. I didn’t see Romeo’s career goals shifting from the fire department and politics to teaching and entrepreneurship. And I certainly didn’t know that just two years later our relationship would be put to the test when I was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer.

Many young marriages would have crumbled under the pressure but ours has become even stronger. For some unknown reason we seem to have found what so many search for their entire lives: real, pure, honest-to-goodness love. It’s a phenomenon we are thankful for each and every day. We often joke that most couples probably don’t say “I love you” nearly as often as we do and that when our friends or co-workers are complaining about their significant other we can’t join in because there’s just nothing to gripe about. And while most people are trying to get away from their spouse, we look for more ways to spend time together.

I say all of this not to brag, but to express how truly lucky I am. I have a husband who loves me and stands by my side despite my being bald, sick, and moody and our lives being dominated by doctor’s appointments. He rides the emotional roller coaster with me and never complains. He goes above and beyond to ensure my happiness and I am incredibly blessed to have him as my husband.

Yes, our life together has been much different than expected. And today’s anniversary brings to mind another that is quickly approaching. In just a few days I will mark three years since being diagnosed. It’s almost impossible not to reflect on that as well and how different I’ve become as a person. Shortly after that date in October, I began to mourn the loss that so many women with breast cancer understand: the loss of my former, innocent self. So I made it my mission to become the “old me” again. And, like so many other women I’ve searched inside myself everyday for some trace of the woman I used to be.

Recently, I decided to discontinue the search. I used to feel that a certain power existed in telling myself and others that cancer hasn’t changed “who I am”, but I think there is greater power in admitting that it has. There is a sort of profoundly bizarre beauty in the cancer perspective, a beauty that can only exist in the darkest of places. After dealing with something so magnificently horrible it’s almost impossible to look at the world and your circumstances in the same way as before. And instead of seeing that as a bad thing, I’ve learned to relish the fact that I’ve reached a level of consciousness, happiness, love and humbling appreciation that most people only dream of. I am not the same woman that I was before cancer, nor will I ever be that woman again – and that’s perfectly okay.

The new me is extremely grateful for everything that I have and for the person I’ve become. And for the fact that I can celebrate five years of marriage with the man of my dreams with a refined bliss that the old me never could have imagined.

~Romeo, I love you with all of my heart and soul.

9/28/05

October 2005

newly moved in 2006

7/7/2007

Cancun 2008

Bahamas 2009

O's game 2010

Paint The Town Pink

It’s that time again. October is rolling around. That means pumpkins, children dressed up for Halloween and the cool crisp air of autumn afternoons. These are all things I look forward to every year. But for me, as a breast cancer patient, October is tainted with a million pink reminders of my disease. It has already begun. Store shelves are filled with items bearing the infamous pink ribbon, promising to donate a portion of the proceeds from the sale to either Susan G. Komen or some unknown cancer foundation. To the average person this seems wonderful, but to a large number of young breast cancer patients like me, this is highly depressing and offensive.

There are a few reasons that I despise the pink ribbon and its message, the first being that it’s a constant, in-your-face reminder of the most horrible thing that has ever happened in my life. Imagine if every year for an entire month, domestic violence or rape victims were bombarded with the face of their attacker. It may seem like a harsh comparison, but that’s just how it feels to be a breast cancer patient in October. Another reason I am offended by the pink ribbon is that I disagree with what it represents. The awareness campaign began in 1985 and was started by AstraZeneca, a drug company which manufactures the breast cancer drugs Arimidex and Tamoxifen. It made sense back then. In 1985 we needed awareness. It’s now 2010 and unless you live in a hobbit hole I’m pretty sure you’re well aware of breast cancer. What we need today is a real, non-toxic, tangible treatment and cure. And possibly my biggest reason for being against the pink ribbon is the sheer exploitation of my illness. Companies slap the pink ribbon on their product as a way to boost sales by playing on people’s emotions and fears. The percentage of the sale that actually goes to cancer organizations is tiny at best.

But, while there are many organizations that aren’t directly helping cancer patients, there are also several that are. My absolute favorite is The Pink Daisy Project. Founded by Debbie Cantwell who is a breast cancer survivor and fellow member of the YSC, The Pink Daisy Project has been able to help countless women all over the country with everyday necessities like housecleaning, groceries and prescription costs and was a recent recipient of a Pepsi Refresh grant. And when Debbie heard about a young woman who was about to be homeless just 2 days after receiving chemotherapy, she decided to help her even though she had no donation money left. With the help of the YSC sisterhood, Debbie’s Pink Daisy Project was not only able to keep this woman from being evicted, but also received enough donations to continue to help other women in need. They even sent me free hats when I started to lose my hair. If you really want to help a woman with breast cancer, leave the pink soup can on the shelf and consider donating directly to this great organization.

And speaking of the YSC, it wouldn’t hurt to donate to them as well. The Young Survival Coalition is an organization dedicated entirely to young women (under 40) with breast cancer. The YSC was the very first resource I found as a newly diagnosed patient and it has been an invaluable tool in guiding me through this journey. I have conversed with countless women through the YSC forum, all of whom I consider to be friends, though we’ve never met. We share something that only women with breast cancer can understand and I wouldn’t be the informed and well adjusted person that I am today without their support. There is also a great organization that I just learned about today called Movable Feast, who provides free meals to people living with AIDS and other life-challenging conditions, such as cancer. It may sound simple, but fulfilling a basic need by providing a meal can be the difference between a good day and a bad day for someone dealing with cancer.

These are just an example of some of the wonderful groups that are directly helping women with breast cancer in real time. When you donate to them, you know exactly where your money is going and you’re able to see real results. As a young breast cancer patient on the front lines of this disease, I’d much rather see people supporting these organizations rather than buying a pink water pitcher. Please think before you pink!

For The Love Of Baseball

Fall is upon us. For most families that means the end of summer and the beginning of the school year. But in our house, September represents the last month of baseball and my husband starts to get a little sad inside. I can’t tell you how many times he’s reminded me of just how few games are left for the season. As usual, he’s already designed and completed his “costume” for fan appreciation weekend with hopes to win a season ticket plan for the third year in a row. And if you know my husband, you know it’s practically in the bag.

He certainly deserves it. If you’ve ever attended a game with us, then you’d have to agree he’s the Orioles’ biggest fan. If you haven’t, then you’re missing out. It is truly a unique experience. Even if you’re not a fan, you will be after spending nine innings watching him yell, cheer, start the wave and spell O-R-I-O-L-E-S in an attempt to get the crowd pumped up. In fact, it’s hard to not let his energy and love for the game seep into you. And that’s just what it does. I love watching a person who sat through most of the game glued to their seat suddenly jump up and start joining in the fun. Or seeing the look of appreciation on a kid’s face as Romeo shows them the best way to catch homeruns at batting practice.

Sure, the Orioles haven’t been playing great for a long, long time, but the words he scribed on his favorite O’s hat says it all – “Win or Lose, Die Hard”. Isn’t that what a true fan is supposed to be? Now that we’ve got Buck and the O’s are improving, I’m sure we’ll see more fair weather fans popping up next year. Regardless, we’ll be there cheering on and supporting our home team, because that’s what we do.

You see, for us baseball season is never really over. So, while everyone else’s mind is shifting to cold weather and football, we’ll be spending the month at Camden Yards, cheering on the O’s and planning out next year’s schedule. We’ll talk about going to Florida for spring training and maybe this time we’ll actually book the trip and go. We’ll start to plan our fundraising games for 2011 and be filled with anticipation for Fan Fest and Opening Day. And while Baltimore’s residents are decked out in purple Raven’s gear, we’ll still be rocking our orange and black O’s shirts, hats and jackets. Call us crazy. Call us die-hards. But please call us what we truly are, fans.

Adventures in Home Canning

A few months ago I saw an article in my Body and Soul magazine about home canning and was intrigued. If you’re like me, canning probably brings to mind thoughts of a simpler time. I can recall shelves of chow chow and pickles lining my grandmother’s basement walls. It may seem like an outdated practice, but there are several reasons why canning your own fresh produce makes sense in today’s world. My favorite reason is that you get to preserve fresh fruits and vegetables at their peak and are able to enjoy them all year long. Another plus is the money you’ll save since you won’t have to buy the canned or frozen version when you want to use them in a recipe (especially if you grow your own produce). Other perks include the fact that canned produce makes beautiful and meaningful gifts for birthdays and holidays and you get to control the amount of salt/sugar that goes into each item, which is usually much less than you’ll find in grocery store versions. Since the article gave simple instructions and a few recipes to get started, I decided to give it a try.

During our regular trip to the farmer’s market I picked up some delicious peaches and splurged on a case of beautiful tomatoes. I had already purchased a home canning starter kit, a canning recipe book and a case of jars. The next day, with my mom’s help, the canning adventure began. We started by cleaning the jars and lids and preparing them by placing them in a large stockpot of slightly boiling water. We also prepared another stock pot of simmering water to process the newly packed jars. While the jars and lids simmered we prepped the tomatoes. This was probably the most time consuming part of the whole operation. We first had to blanch the tomatoes, then peel and cut them. Now it was time to pack the jars. This part can get tricky. You have to be extra careful when packing to follow the recipe instructions. Getting all the air bubbles out of the jars and leaving enough headspace is critical to ensure the quality of the food. Once the jars were packed correctly and the lids were on, we carefully placed them in the stock pot of simmering water to process for the allotted amount of time. After about 40 minutes of processing, we removed the jars and sat them on a dish towel on the table to cool for 24 hours.

It may sound simple, but canning tomatoes is a long, slow process that takes lots of preparing and patience. Since we were amateurs we used stock pots instead of an actual canning pot. I didn’t think there was much of a difference at first but now I know better. The jars I used were quart sized and my stockpots were barely tall enough to hold the amount of water needed to cover the tops of them for processing. We had a few episodes of the water boiling over and dousing the stove’s flame. Another issue was that my pot only held about 4 jars at a time, so we could only work in batches of four, slowing the process down even more. We also ended up using regular tongs and oven mitts to remove the jars from the boiling water. Luckily none were dropped, but we came awful close. Without my mother’s help, the tomato canning would have been a disaster. Even with the proper equipment, it’s at least a two person job. My brother ended up stopping by in the afternoon and his assistance really helped to finish things out. All in all it took us about seven hours to complete the canning process. It was exhausting and a learning experience, but totally worth it in the end.

Since canning the tomatoes took all day, we didn’t even get to the peaches. I ended up making peach jam the following day and canning it by myself, which was much easier considering I had less peaches and smaller jars. That process took me about three hours total. I’ve since discovered a canning utensil kit that contains special jar gripping tongs, a magnetic tool to remove the jar lids, a transparent funnel and a tool that doubles as a bubble remover and headspace measurer and I can tell you it was well worth the $7 it cost. After our first adventure a few weeks ago I’ve become a pro. My mother and I canned strawberry and blueberry jam this past Monday as well as peach halves in light syrup and it went much more smoothly this time around. As with anything, the more you practice, the easier it gets. The next item on my canning list is green beans; however they require a special pressure processer that I have yet to purchase. I’m leaning towards one I found online that can be used as a pressure or boiling processer.

If you’re considering canning I highly recommend it, but I do have a few tips to ease you into the process:

~ Always follow a trusted recipe. Home canning requires processing foods a certain way to eliminate any bacteria, etc. If you don’t follow a trusted recipe, your food could go bad and your family could get seriously ill! I found a great canning recipe book at Wal-Mart for $6 that was full of recipes for fruit, vegetables, jams, pickled foods and meats (yes, you CAN can meats! Who knew?). It also had great instructions for prepping the jars, choosing produce, storage guidelines and trouble shooting. For me, having this book before you get started is a must.

~ Read all instructions prior to beginning and have all of your items out and ready to go. You can’t decide to can strawberry jelly with the strawberries in your fridge. You have to start with the amount of fruit or vegetable that the recipe calls for and purchase the correct size and amount of jars and lids. It wouldn’t be fun to get started only to discover that you have the wrong size jars or not enough fruit. AND – once you begin the process, you cannot stop or the end product will be ruined. You must be fully prepared when you begin.

~ Follow all instructions carefully. The idea is to create the best product possible. The recipes were created with the right amount of ingredients to preserve the freshness and taste of your produce. If you alter the amount of sugar or salt that a recipe calls for, the end result could be spoiled. There are sugar-free and sugar-less recipes if you’d like to lessen your intake, also included in the book I purchased.

~ I think stockpots are fine to use the first time around. They work well, especially with smaller jars. If you’re like me and you discover that you really love canning and plan on doing it often, I’d recommend splurging on the professional canner. It’s made especially for this purpose, and is taller and wider to accommodate the jars.

~ Enlist the help of family and friends. Canning was a great way to spend time with my mom and brother and we got to create something together. It also really helps, especially if you’re canning tomatoes, to have an extra hand or two. It’s a great way to save money too! Go in together on the fruits/vegetables and supplies and then split the finished product.

~ Start early. We began with the tomatoes around 10am and didn’t finish until around 5pm. Plan accordingly so that you have plenty of time to devote to the process.

~ Remember to have fun! I truly enjoyed the whole experience, even if it was a bit tedious at times, and I kept reminding myself of the awesome items I would have in the end.

In the end, I was surprised to discover just how much I enjoyed the canning process. There’s something intensely gratifying about making something yourself. The bold colors of the tomatoes and peach jam look so pleasing in my cabinet and it feels great to know exactly what’s in them. I can’t wait to enjoy the taste of summer this fall and winter. And learning something new, that I actually enjoy, sure does feel great!

Little Miracles

I realize I haven’t posted in a while. The reason I will give is that we started the egg retrieval process and immediately after I began a new chemo regimen. Needless to say, with all the side effects, I’ve been feeling less than well. On top of having back pain and generally feeling like a truck ran me over, I’ve become anemic and thus, walking even a few feet makes my heart race and I feel as if I’m going to pass out. And so that’s given me an easy out when it comes to doing just about anything these days. Unfortunately, I don’t want the out. The truth is I haven’t posted because I’ve let myself get too comfortable with being “sick” and “stuck” and “unable”. Yes, it even happens to positive people. Thankfully, I have the most upbeat husband in the world and he’s helped me to slowly put myself back on track. Here’s my take on how I got myself into this “black hole” and how I’m gradually crawling out of it by rejoicing in the little miracles of every day.



How it got this way:


It all started in December when I fractured a bone in my back. At first, it wasn’t so bad. I knew it would take time for my back to heal and it was easier to accept since it was ten degrees outside. Lounging on the couch all day was a welcome change to digging myself out of the blizzard. Then my fracture healed but I still felt bad, a result of the cancer in my bones progressing and the meds I was on failing to do their job. It’s about this time that we were really in the thick of the surrogacy issue, and so against doctor’s orders, I put off starting a new treatment until we had gotten through the retrieval process. This took about two weeks. I in no way regret our decision and am happy to report that we have three embryos frozen and waiting.


Immediately after the egg retrieval I began the new chemo protocol. It’s been a bit rough since it’s a harsher treatment and I now go to the doctor more frequently than before. Over the course of these past six months I’ve also been nauseous several times due to medications and thus have lost a considerable amount of weight, I’ve become anemic, I’ve slacked on eating well in lieu of just eating to gain weight, I’ve slacked on taking my vitamins and stopped exercising and going to acupuncture. I’ve gradually let go of everything that was supporting my well being. I’ve also allowed myself to feel sorry for myself a bit, and that may have been my biggest mistake.


So now here we are in June. I’m used to being a very active person, especially during the summer. It’s my favorite time of year. It’s a time filled with festivals, farmer’s markets and warm weather that’s perfect for the beach, the park, and vacations. I’ve looked forward to all of these things, and since I’m still physically unable to enjoy most of them, I let anger and sadness seep into my mind. My husband would ask what I would like to do today and my response would be “I want to do a lot of things, but I can’t”. Then I would get upset and cry. A much needed pep talk would ensue and I’d pull myself together for a bit. The problem was that unless I started living every day with a more positive outlook, I’d be stuck in this “down” place forever.


How I’m getting back on track: (and how you can too)


Fortunately, an article in O magazine helped me to realize that. It was about a woman who was diagnosed with stage IV cancer back in 1988. She was told she had a few months to live. Twenty-two years later and she’s still here to tell her story. The whole article is moving but I was deeply inspired by one particular quote from her. She said whenever she feels that she’s at the end of her rope she asks herself a question, “where are you right now?” The point of the question being that, where you are right now in this moment is usually not so bad of a place. And if we just ask ourselves this question and answer honestly, we’ll realize that if we just hold on right now, we’ll get through to the next moment, and the next, and so on.


I decided to start asking myself this question every day. I’ve begun to recognize and be thankful for the small miracles in my day to day living. Sleeping through the night without any back pain, walking up the steps without feeling exhausted, getting through each treatment with minimal side effects, eating without feeling nauseous. I’ve also started again to focus on what I can do as opposed to what I can’t. I may not be able to go for a walk on this beautiful sunny day, but I can sit on the deck for a while with the dogs and enjoy the breeze. I can’t walk around the mall, but I can make it to the theater and enjoy a movie with my husband. I can’t run the women’s 5K this year or even walk it, but I can lift small weights while sitting on the couch. I may not weigh what I want or need to, but I can count calories and do my best to eat healthy, nourishing foods. I may think that chemo is the devil in an IV bag, but I can also believe that it’s doing its job to get my cancer under control. I’m also reminded of the things I’ve never stopped being thankful for, like my incredible husband, our awesome family and friends, the animals we’ve saved that continue to enrich our lives and those three miracle embryos that we created.


Everyone gets down every now and then. We all fall into bad habits, whether they are physical, emotional or spiritual. I’m proof that even the most positive people have bad days, weeks, months, etc. But if we find just one small thing to rejoice in each day, we can put ourselves on the road to recovery. So the next time you’re feeling down and out ask yourself where you are right now and seek out the little miracles in your life.

Going the Distance

It’s happened to all of us. Our idea or dream is knocked down by someone’s negative thoughts or comments. We’re told we can’t do something and are given various reasons why. Sometimes we even sabotage ourselves based on circumstances, statistics and obstacles. At this point, we have two options: give up or keep trying. It is this decision that separates the extraordinary from the mundane. But how do we keep going when the odds are stacked against us? I’ve found that perseverance is always present within us. We just have to learn to wake it up.


Throughout my life I’ve always been a determined person. Telling me I can’t do something is a sure fire way to get me to do it. I’ve also always believed that anything is possible. So it should have come as no surprise when my husband and I announced that we were looking into surrogacy as a means to become parents. Surrogacy is a controversial subject all by itself, but the fact that I have stage IV cancer and am considering this is unheard of. Besides being extremely dangerous for me, from what I’ve found, no stage IV woman has ever attempted it. So why have I decided to do it? Well, it boils down to something very basic. I don’t believe that “it’s never been done before” is a good enough reason not to do something.


When Columbus decided to sail around the world people warned him of the dangers, stating that the world was flat and that he would fall off the edge. It had never been done before. Still, he set sail. When the Wright brothers decided to build an airplane, people told them they were crazy and said that if man were meant to fly he would have been given wings. It had never been done before. Still, they took flight. All of the wonderful things we enjoy today had never been done before, until someone decided to be the first. And if we gave up every time we wanted to do something unheard of, nothing would ever be accomplished.


Tapping into your perseverance is easy with the right mindset. First, you have to decide from the very beginning that you will succeed. You must believe in yourself beyond anyone else’s doubts. How do you do this? Give yourself a pep talk if you have to. Tell yourself that you will not let any outside sources come between you and your goal. When you allow others to negatively influence your progress you’re giving them control over something that belongs to you.


Second, you must remove the word failure from your vocabulary. We all know what happens when we start to think about the worst case scenario. It’s a downward spiral of one negative thought after another. Eventually we’ve convinced ourselves that everyone who told us we couldn’t was right and we give up. The minute you allow fear and the possibility of failure to enter your mind, you’re setting yourself up for disaster.


Third, commit to yourself and whatever it is you’re attempting. Resolve to stand by yourself and go the distance no matter what. Colonel Sanders pitched his chicken recipe and heard “no” 1009 times before someone said “yes”. Most of us would have given up after the first rejection. You have to be willing to walk through that rejection and keep on going.


Finally, be prepared to endure negativity and resistance to your goal. Obstacles arise regardless of what we’re trying to accomplish. It’s turning those obstacles into opportunities that will change the course of your journey and ultimately determine your success. And when I'm feeling challenged and need to stay on course I repeat the words of the great Yoda - "Do or do not, there is no try". We all have the ability to persevere. When will you stop trying and start doing?

 

The Great Milk Debate

The decision to stop using milk was a difficult but important one for me. It was prompted by a seminar called Living Health by Tony Robbins in which he explained in very plain terms why using milk just didn’t make sense and was unhealthy. Still, as a die-hard milk lover, I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to give up something that I loved so much. That is, until I discovered the wonderful world of milk alternatives.

Growing up, I consumed large quantities of milk. I took after my father, who drank milk practically every day. My mother would buy at least 2-3 gallons of milk in a week and people would joke that it would be cheaper for us to just buy a cow. As an adult, my love for milk sustained. Friends would ask if I wanted a little cereal with my milk as the bowl was usually overflowing. I let them tease me. After all, wasn’t milk good for you? Everything on TV and in magazine ads tells us how milk does a body good. We’re told that milk contains the calcium we need to keep our bones strong and to prevent osteoporosis. We see models with milk moustaches and are asked “Got Milk?” I never thought there was any reason to question my milk consumption, until I began to re-evaluate my food choices.

Why I chose to stop drinking milk:

Humans, like all other mammals, are weaned from their mother’s milk as soon as they are able to tolerate whole foods. In Living Health Tony Robbins mentions that not only are we the only mammals that continue to drink milk into adulthood, but we don’t even drink our own milk, we drink that of other mammals. This fact alone was enough to make me stop and think. Does that really make sense? He also explains how milk actually leeches calcium from our bones instead of adding to it and really breaks down the facts, stating scientific studies that have linked milk consumption and the bovine growth hormone that most milk contains to a variety of adverse health issues, including cancer. Add to that the fact that the majority of the population is lactose intolerant and that our bodies simply aren’t built to tolerate milk after the first few years of life, especially cow’s milk, and it just made sense to stop using it.

Now the question was what to use in place of milk in my daily life. There were many options and like most things, it was tough to know what to choose. As usual, my husband was more than happy to assist me in my taste-testing journey. We tried several types of alternative milk options until we discovered what worked best for us. The most important thing to me at first was finding something that tasted the most like milk, but I also factored in the ingredients used and amount of sugar in each product before making a final decision. Below are my reviews of each:

Soy Milk: I was already familiar with soy milk thanks to my husband being lactose intolerant. We always had soy milk in the refrigerator and I didn’t care for it much the first time I tasted it, but I decided to give it another try. It costs around $2.50-$3.00 for a half gallon.

• 8th Continent – This is my favorite brand of soymilk as far as taste goes. It is superior to all other brands in terms of palatability, and the sweetened original version has only 80 calories and 7 grams of sugar per 8 oz serving, compared to 13 grams in your average cup of cow’s milk. http://www.8thcontinent.com/
• Silk – another great tasting soymilk and the most readily available. Only 6 grams of sugar and 100 calories in the original sweetened version. http://www.silksoymilk.com/

Almond Milk: This is my number one choice for milk alternatives. To me, it has the best taste and texture. It's smooth, creamy and has a hint of sweetness. It costs about $2.50 for a half gallon.

• Almond Breeze – The ultimate in almond milk. This is my favorite brand. It’s smooth, just sweet enough and doesn’t have a strong almond taste. The original sweetened has 60 calories and 7 grams of sugar. I also think that chocolate almond milk tastes almost exactly like chocolate cow's milk. http://www.bluediamondfoods.com/
• Pacific Foods Almond Milk – Tried this and didn’t like it. Has a very distinct almond flavor, which some may prefer, but I didn’t. http://www.pacificfoods.com/
• Almond Dream – Again, this had too much of an almond after taste for my liking. But it has only 50 calories and 5 grams of sugar in its sweetened original flavor.        http://www.tastethedream.com/
• Silk Pure Almond- This would be my second choice if I were unable to find Almond Breeze. This had a very light, smooth taste that wasn’t overwhelmed with almond flavor. It has 60 calories and 7 grams of sugar. http://www.silkpurealmond.com/

Rice Milk: Rice milk to me has a very grainy taste and texture, which makes sense since it made from a grain. Nevertheless, it didn’t appeal to me. Since I disliked it so much, I only tried one brand. It costs about $2.50 for a quart.

• Rice Dream- I’ve heard from people who prefer rice milk that the Rice Dream brand is their favorite. It has 120 calories and 10 grams of sugar.   http://www.tastethedream.com/

Coconut Milk: This isn’t the same as the coconut milk you’re used to seeing in small cans on the shelf. This is found in the refrigerated section of the supermarket. So far I’ve only been able to find it at whole foods. I was intrigued and decided to try it. It costs about $4.99 for a half gallon.

• So Delicious Coconut Milk – It really is So Delicious. This was the closet alternative I’ve found to actual milk. It has a slight coconut taste, but it’s not overwhelming. The original version has 80 calories and 6 grams of sugar. A trivial thing I found about coconut milk is that the color is white, like cow’s milk; psychologically that makes it more appealing. I’m not a huge fan of coconut in general and that’s really the only reason this one isn’t my favorite.                  http://www.turtlemountain.com/

Hemp Milk: This conjures up mixed emotions for some people. They hear hemp and immediately think of marijuana and they either get really excited at the thought or really afraid. I only recently tried this and was pleasantly surprised. It costs about $3.99 for a quart.

• Living Harvest Tempt Hemp Milk- Like most alternative milk options, this has an aftertaste, and one that I can’t quite describe but it’s not a bad taste. It is however, incredibly smooth and again, very similar to cow’s milk in taste and color. With 100 calories and 6 grams of sugar, it measures up nicely to the other milk options.  http://www.worldpantry.com/

Most milk alternatives can easily be used in recipes that call for cow’s milk, but check the website and package for more information. I love to use almond milk when cooking, as it adds a light sweetness to certain dishes. Coconut and hemp milk are my next favorites, but I use them sparingly as they are a little more expensive. Also, most of these come in a variety of flavors, usually original, vanilla and chocolate as well as sweetened and unsweetened versions. The unsweetened versions have 0 grams of sugar. I like to mix unsweetened with sweetened to lessen my sugar intake.

When shopping for milk alternatives it important to remember that no matter how similar to milk it tastes, you won’t match the taste exactly. Whatever your reason for eliminating or decreasing your milk intake, it's best to approach the change with an open mind. You have to be prepared to try something new and be disciplined enough to want to make the switch.

True Beauty

I recently watched the documentary America the Beautiful, a film by Darryl Roberts that examines our country’s obsession with outward beauty. It does so by tackling a wide spectrum of issues, including the unrealistic standards of beauty dictated to the public by the media and pop culture, increased interest in plastic surgery, eating disorders and toxic ingredients used in most cosmetics. The film also includes interviews with marketing reps, doctors and regular men and women. All of this is dispersed between clips of a 12 year old supermodel as she vies for fame and recognition among the fashion industry’s top dogs. I found the film to be very intriguing and informative and would recommend it to anyone interested in such a subject. But this film offered me much more than information; it got me thinking about how each of us defines beauty and the standards we hold ourselves to.

As a young woman living in America, I’ve fallen victim to the cycle of flashy imagery.Like most girls, I grew up with confusion about body image and beauty, despite being raised by parents who placed no emphasis on such things. My father always told me I was beautiful exactly as I was and my mother rarely used make-up or cosmetics, but it wasn’t until I got older that I really started to love myself totally. Honestly, I probably came to that realization at a much younger age than most people. Still, as a teenager I would compare myself to every girl I saw in magazines and on television. This is nothing new really, but it seems that with every generation the expectations of beauty become more difficult to live up to. When I was growing up it was teen magazines and acne commercials; today its girls in their early twenties who are opting for plastic surgery to “fix” problem areas. And it’s not just women; men are being bombarded with these ideas too.

If you really pay attention, practically every piece of media we are exposed to is telling us that something is wrong with us and offers a solution. Most of us buy into that logic, not even realizing that we are being “sold”. We spend billions of dollars each year on products that promise to make our bodies look younger, thinner and firmer and our hair sleeker, shinier and stronger. These claims are usually being marketed to us by a beautiful airbrushed supermodel to give the impression that if we use the product, we too can achieve perfection. But when will the quest for the perfect body, hair, face, etc end?

The truth is, it’s easy to blame the media for making us a nation obsessed with outward beauty, and I agree they contribute to it greatly, but I feel we each need to take responsibility for what we allow ourselves to believe. Attempting to live up to someone else’s standard of beauty will ultimately prove to be hazardous to your overall health. When will we realize that health and beauty isn’t about how much we weigh, how big or small our noses or butts are, our bust size, the color of our skin or the clothes we wear? True beauty lies in how we feel about ourselves, inside and out, not in how the world sees us.

If you have time, I suggest checking out the documentary. If nothing else, it will give you a new perspective on beauty. And afterwards, be sure to tell yourself how gorgeous you are. It’s amazing how much better we feel when we stop comparing ourselves to everyone else and start rejoicing in the beautiful things that makes us each unique.

The Hidden Advantages of Acupuncture

When I first announced that I wanted to explore alternative methods of treating my cancer and to find better methods of relaxing, a friend suggested I try acupuncture. I’ll admit I was skeptical at first. I held the common belief that acupuncture was only for people experiencing pain. As I felt fine, I really didn’t see how this was going to help me. Still I figured I had nothing to lose. After just one treatment I discovered a whole new world of feeling great.

I set up the initial consultation which consisted of me answering some questions, mostly about the foods I craved, sleep issues, allergies and the like, followed by the actual treatment. First, I was asked to lie down on a soft table as the acupuncturist took my pulse and checked my tongue for color and coating. He then began to place tiny needles into various pressure points on my body – mainly my hands, arms, legs and feet. Contrary to popular belief, this didn’t hurt a bit. I felt little pricks and tingles, but nothing painful or uncomfortable. He put on soft music, asked if the temperature of the room was to my liking and quietly left me to relax for about 30 minutes. He checked on me periodically to make sure I was doing ok. And boy was I ok! I had never been so relaxed in my entire life. It was soothing, serene and extremely therapeutic. The weight of my body seemed to disappear and I felt as if I was gently floating above the table. I was able to calm my thoughts and ease into a peaceful state of mind. Afterwards, he carefully removed each needle and allowed me a few minutes to adjust before getting up from the table. After we decided on weekly treatments, I left the office with my skepticism squashed.

I couldn’t believe how great I felt not only during the procedure but afterwards as well. I noticed a boost in my mood that lasted well into the week and I just felt “lighter” in a sense. My sleep also improved and became more consistent, which was a welcome change to the usual tossing and turning I experienced. I found I was thinking more clearly, focusing better and enjoying a harmony in my life that I never knew existed. The weekly sessions also allowed me to have a block of time all to myself without any interruptions, distractions or feelings of guilt.

Maybe you’ve considered giving acupuncture a try. Whether it’s for pain management, stress relief, a chronic condition or just seeking deeper relaxation, acupuncture can be a positive addition to your well-being plan. While I definitely recommend it, I do have some tips on how to make the most of the experience.

• Make sure you choose an acupuncturist carefully. This should be someone you feel comfortable with and who has experience and certification. Randomly picking a name out of the phone book without doing any research could end up being more harmful than helpful. Ask friends, family and co-workers for recommendations and review references or testimonials from other clients before making a decision. 
•  The price of acupuncture can vary, depending on the practitioner and length and frequency of visits. Your acupuncturist should work with you to develop a plan that meets your needs without hurting your wallet. Many insurance companies will reimburse you for treatments so be sure to check with your carrier to see if it’s covered under your plan.
• Be sure to enter each session ready to surrender. Turn your cell phone off or leave it in the car. Don’t eat anything prior to your appointment that might upset your stomach or aggravate your body. And use the restroom beforehand. Leave behind or take care of anything that will hinder your ability to relax.
• Always be honest with your acupuncturist about how you are feeling and keep them updated on any changes in your life. You want to feel the maximum benefits from your sessions and this is only possible if you’re entirely truthful about your state of being.

If you do choose to add acupuncture to your life, do your best to take it in completely. Too often we don’t allow ourselves to fully enjoy an experience and therefore we miss out on different levels and hidden aspects of joy. Convincing yourself that you deserve to feel good will bring you closer to the peaceful relaxation and balance that acupuncture can provide.

Thinking Healthy

Attempting to define health can be a challenging venture. Navigating the textbook version and most people’s misconceptions of health as a purely physical term has led me to my own interpretation.


I’ve always been a small framed person, weighing around 110 lbs for the majority of my life. I grew up with the belief that since I was skinny, I didn’t need to worry about exercising or what I ate– that was for overweight people. And, for most of my life, that logic seemed to work. On the outside I appeared to be healthy. I avoided what I perceived to be the biggest health hazards. I didn’t smoke, didn’t drink coffee, rarely had alcohol and I drank lots of bottled water. Besides the occasional headache or back pain most of us experience, I generally felt pretty good. So, it came as quite a shock when I was told that I had cancer. Obviously, this would be shocking regardless of the circumstances, but I was a 26 year old non-smoker. Cancer wasn’t even on my radar. I thought that was the worst news I could possibly hear, until I was told that it had already spread to my liver and bones, instantly upping my diagnosis to stage IV. In a split second, my view of health, among other things, was shattered.


Of course, I felt lost, angry and terrified. Cancer changes your whole perspective. I now found myself questioning everything I thought I was certain of. But, I slowly started to realize that I needed to take charge of my life and my health, and that meant much more than just the physical aspect. As I wrote in my last post, I began eliminating processed, sugary and hormone laden products from my diet and added more whole grains, fresh vegetables and vitamins. I also implemented exercise into my daily routine, something I had never done before. All of this helped me to lead a healthier life, but I knew it wasn’t enough. After a considerable amount of reading and soul searching, I finally came to the conclusion that true health is about overall well being – body, mind and spirit.


Negativity is just as detrimental to your health as eating junk. Your brain needs good food in order to thrive, so if you’re constantly complaining or looking at the bad side of things, how do you ever expect to be healthy? Just as you can slowly adjust your eating habits to reflect healthier choices, you can slowly adjust your thoughts to be more supportive of the life you want to live. Again, the question is where to begin. Everything I was reading was telling me I needed to get happy. Feeling happy and being healthy go hand in hand. The truth was I thought I already was happy. I appreciated the good in my life. But like most people, that happiness wasn’t constant and was usually dependent on outside sources. We like to look to our friends, spouses and material possessions to give us joy but most of the time those things fall short of what we’re looking for. The first step for me was admitting this to myself. It was also the hardest, but once I did I felt much freer. It helped to tell myself that I had nothing to lose by attempting to get happier.


I began starting my day with positive thoughts. Instead of waking up to a rainy day thinking “today is going to suck”, I would smile and say “what a beautiful morning”. Think of it as beginning your day with a healthy breakfast. Throughout the day I would pay close attention to my thoughts and try to shift them if they veered off of my path. If I was stuck in traffic, instead of getting angry and stressed out, which doesn’t change the situation and only makes you feel more miserable, I would look at it as an opportunity to have more “me” time. This may seem like a bunch of malarkey to you, it did to me at first as well. I challenge you to try it for one week. You’ll notice how your life begins to change and how much better you will feel when you replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Of course, this doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen. It just means dealing with those things in a better way.


It’s important to remember that this isn’t about putting on a fake smile and pretending to feel something that you don’t. It’s about genuinely deciding to take control of your happiness and realizing that the only thing affecting your bliss is you. Looking for the positive in every situation really helps to shift your way of thinking and in turn, your reality.

The Art of Change

Deciding to make lifestyle changes is hard, whether it’s the foods you eat, the products you use or the thoughts you think. Throw in cancer and it gets even harder and more imperative. With so many options, it’s tough to know if you’re making the right choices.


It was the beginning of 2008, once the reality of my diagnosis set in, when I really decided to start making serious changes in my daily life. I began by doing a little research and quickly found myself overwhelmed with all of the information out there. It was like sitting in the middle of a room surrounded by a mess to organize. I didn’t know where to begin. Thankfully, I had help. My husband was my biggest advocate, supporting me and helping me to navigate the overload of options. He was also one of my biggest obstacles. He quickly mounted a plan to completely cut all sugar, alcohol, dairy and meat from my life, while simultaneously attempting to shove broccoli down my throat every chance he got. I understood that his attempts were just his way of having some control over a situation that made him feel helpless. Still – it was annoying. He would look at me as if I was putting a gun to my head every time I ate a piece of candy. And in rebellion, I would go to the opposite extreme, exerting my own control over my life by binging on sugar and denouncing broccoli, stating that it made me feel better. The truth was it didn’t make me feel better. I knew my eating habits weren’t healthy and I wanted to change, but not so drastically that it made me miserable. What I eventually realized and was able to convince my husband of, was that balance is the key to making changes you will stick with for the long term.


Choosing one thing at a time to work on can help you stay focused and ease you into the transition. So, how do you decide where to begin? I like to make a list of goals, then break them down into smaller goals and start with the least difficult. For me, that was red meat. I didn’t eat that much red meat anyway, so giving it up was fairly simple for me. And, by choosing something that was easy for me to change, it felt like I had accomplished something and kept me motivated while moving on to the next item on my list. Another thing I learned was how to balance removing something from my life by adding something new. Since red meat was out I added more vegetables, many of which I had never tried before. Learning new ways to prepare the vegetables made the transition more exciting as well.


It’s important to remember to start off small and to try reducing before eliminating completely. I started eating less dairy by trying out milk alternatives like soy and almond milk and opting for organic yogurt. By replacing regular milk with a milk alternative it felt more like I was making better choices and less like I was giving something up. It also helps to treat yourself after you’ve accomplished a goal. Being healthier and feeling better doesn’t have to be your only incentive to continue with changes. Small rewards can go a long way. Again, moderation is important here. Indulging in old habits will just defeat your purpose. One thing I incorporated into my life was the special occasion treat. For example, I don’t eat red meat, but I allow myself to have a few pieces of corn beef and cabbage around St. Patrick’s Day. I‘ve eliminated most candy, but I still enjoy a vanilla butter cream egg from Mary Sue around Easter. And I’ve stopped drinking alcohol, but I still use a Natty Boh when making beer bread. Following these practices will allow you to create lasting change and give you a feeling of control over your life.


And remember, making changes is supposed to make you feel good. Be sure that you’re changing for the right reasons and not just because you feel pressured by outside sources. Making yourself happy should be the primary goal. Quitting anything in your life for anyone other than yourself is not the way to reach your happy medium.

Write What You Know

I’ve started a blog before and never kept up with it. This is my second attempt and I’ve promised myself that I will blog at least once a day. I think it will be much easier now that I’ve found something I will enjoy writing about. With the advice of a very good friend, I’ve decided to change the path of my blogging into something that fits me better. I think Stephen King gave the best advice when he said “write about what you know”. This is what I know.

I decided after being diagnosed with cancer that I needed to make some significant changes in the way I lived my life. It started with the food I ate and from there it grew. The more I researched the more I discovered the truth about what is really in the products most of us use every day. I also realized that living a cleaner, healthier life is about much more than just the food we eat. Knowing where to begin can be overwhelming but along the way I’ve found that balance is the key to making significant changes.

In this blog, I’ll discuss the sometimes daunting search for the best ways to improve our lives and hopefully I’ll help to define what living healthy really means. I’ll also throw in product reviews and some reviews of local, national and international organizations that want your hard earned dollar, telling you which non-profits deserve your money. And I’ll give tips about how to stay motivated even when facing adversity, something I’ve become quite an expert in. It is my hope that you will join me in my search for a happier medium. Read and enjoy!