Going the Distance

It’s happened to all of us. Our idea or dream is knocked down by someone’s negative thoughts or comments. We’re told we can’t do something and are given various reasons why. Sometimes we even sabotage ourselves based on circumstances, statistics and obstacles. At this point, we have two options: give up or keep trying. It is this decision that separates the extraordinary from the mundane. But how do we keep going when the odds are stacked against us? I’ve found that perseverance is always present within us. We just have to learn to wake it up.


Throughout my life I’ve always been a determined person. Telling me I can’t do something is a sure fire way to get me to do it. I’ve also always believed that anything is possible. So it should have come as no surprise when my husband and I announced that we were looking into surrogacy as a means to become parents. Surrogacy is a controversial subject all by itself, but the fact that I have stage IV cancer and am considering this is unheard of. Besides being extremely dangerous for me, from what I’ve found, no stage IV woman has ever attempted it. So why have I decided to do it? Well, it boils down to something very basic. I don’t believe that “it’s never been done before” is a good enough reason not to do something.


When Columbus decided to sail around the world people warned him of the dangers, stating that the world was flat and that he would fall off the edge. It had never been done before. Still, he set sail. When the Wright brothers decided to build an airplane, people told them they were crazy and said that if man were meant to fly he would have been given wings. It had never been done before. Still, they took flight. All of the wonderful things we enjoy today had never been done before, until someone decided to be the first. And if we gave up every time we wanted to do something unheard of, nothing would ever be accomplished.


Tapping into your perseverance is easy with the right mindset. First, you have to decide from the very beginning that you will succeed. You must believe in yourself beyond anyone else’s doubts. How do you do this? Give yourself a pep talk if you have to. Tell yourself that you will not let any outside sources come between you and your goal. When you allow others to negatively influence your progress you’re giving them control over something that belongs to you.


Second, you must remove the word failure from your vocabulary. We all know what happens when we start to think about the worst case scenario. It’s a downward spiral of one negative thought after another. Eventually we’ve convinced ourselves that everyone who told us we couldn’t was right and we give up. The minute you allow fear and the possibility of failure to enter your mind, you’re setting yourself up for disaster.


Third, commit to yourself and whatever it is you’re attempting. Resolve to stand by yourself and go the distance no matter what. Colonel Sanders pitched his chicken recipe and heard “no” 1009 times before someone said “yes”. Most of us would have given up after the first rejection. You have to be willing to walk through that rejection and keep on going.


Finally, be prepared to endure negativity and resistance to your goal. Obstacles arise regardless of what we’re trying to accomplish. It’s turning those obstacles into opportunities that will change the course of your journey and ultimately determine your success. And when I'm feeling challenged and need to stay on course I repeat the words of the great Yoda - "Do or do not, there is no try". We all have the ability to persevere. When will you stop trying and start doing?